To say that I have lived my life without any regrets is hypocrisy. Regrets are a part of life, and as we look back, there are some timestamps where we could have done things differently or taken the other fork in the road. So whenever I hear a beauty pageant contestant without hesitation proclaim that "I would not change a thing in my life," I really find it hypocritical.
I am a fallen eagle. Not was, but am. I remember that night I was on the bus back to Naga for the break and in my head I was already computing if my grades would add up to the required QPI (quality point index) of 1.8 to stay in Admu. I knew it would come short (I got 1.2). My Calculus and English classes eerily my best and favorite subjects were going to be my doom. So the day I went back to Manila to enroll, I knew doomsday was coming. I even brought bigger bags (two of them).
So when my gay roommate (there were three of them, all sexually confused, this was the one who on a daily basis pestered me with Himig Handog songs) mouthed the words, "you are getting kicked out, same with Idunnowhathisnamewasbuthewasalwaysdrunk," hit me, it no longer had its numbing effect. I packed my bags. Left some of my smelly unwashed briefs and headed home.
You say what happened my friend?
What happened to me as Barney would say it is legen... wait for it... dary! Yes I was a legend but in a terrible way. Lower classmen in my former high school would point at me as the guy who flunked due to too much computer games. May I correct that it was a totally inaccurate conclusion. It was not computer games but computer games and movies, actually. In my short stint in Metro Manila and the lovely dorm of Ateneo, I was acquainted with Warcraft, Doom, and a whole lot of Sta. Lucia, Megamall, SM North and even Ever Gotesco Grand Central in Caloocan.
Well as the cliche goes, when they close a door, a new door opens, well what I got was a small window but a lot of windows. Now I have two wonderful kids, a stable job, free access to internet, a whole lot of movies (this gives away my numerous posts on movies), and your unending supply of computer games (I don't even play that much anymore). Still, I can't help but wonder what would have ever happened if my Ateneo thing had panned out?
Could I have had a financially statisfying life, relocating to the States, being discovered as a funny Asian and appearing in the Hangover naked instead of that Korean dude?
Could I have turned gay as influenced by my three Himig Handog singing sisters in the Ateneo dorms and be the next Bebeng Walangari?
Could I have been Chris Tiu's buddy and made the Greenwich cheesy hugging commercial?
See, the possibilities are endless which just justifies my regret. So right now forgive me if it crossed my kind if I hadn't been a fallen eagle for I had flown to the possibilities and there must have been a long list, if you think positively about it.